life experiences with the tools 4

"It has been my philosophy of life that

difficulties vanish when faced boldly."

Isaac Asimov

Chris Walton

Forward Focused Question

We have all sat through meetings with people who ask questions that you know are merely extensions of their own agenda, COTS or just to hear themselves sound intelligent. Instead of these questions eliciting sincere responses, you either stay quiet or respond with what you know they want to hear, knowing that they are not really interested in hearing your opinion.
The same could be said for our families, you come home from work, How was your day? It was fine. How was yours? It was OK. How was school?, I hate it. Many times you know the answers before the questions are even asked....

When asking questions in a team/meeting environment, try to avoid asking questions that direct people to what you want or where you want to be. Open ended questions tend to start with What or how, but to give them a forward focus you could change "What were the major issues from the recent meeting?" to "What did you learn from the major issues at the recent meeting that will help us get the desired results?"
Again the same for our families. Don't ask a question that will elicit the same answer you have gotten for the last 3 months...10 yrs..... Change "How was school today?" to "Tell me about the coolest thing you did at school today?" or "How was work today?" to "What was the most interesting thing about work today?"

We all have opinions, we all have ideas, we all have things we want to say. Asking questions of our co-workers, friends and family in the right way, will make a world of difference in the quality, quantity and sincerity of the responses.

So I leave you with this question.....
What are the winning numbers going to be in the $200 million mega millions jackpot and how will winning change your life? :)

MariAnne Wozniak

3 Mind Factors

3 Mind Factors



Thank you so much to all of you that gave me the Congrats for my first place win. Dance is a big part of my life. Not only do I dance competitively, but I use it to gain confidence, and it helps with stress relief.

The last three months I have been preparing myself for my big event. A lot of blood, sweat, and tears. 12 hours a week in practice time. It took a lot of time away from my family, and my other interests. I started to feel drained. I wasn’t getting the moves down. I even had a back injury two days before the event.

I never gave up. I think Pathways and the 3 Mind factors helped me a lot with getting through this…………
The mind can only focus on one thing at a time - How true this is, especially when is comes to practicing and preparing for an

Paul Smith

Juncture Tool

"Juncture Tool"
There once was a man from Toledo
Who thought he looked sharp in a Speedo
When using the "tool of the juncture"
He developed a small puncture
and was compelled to change his whole credo

and so ended his days with the speedo .... thankfully

Credo is a belief system for this example.

Personal Development

by Fernando Cervellos

What are you feeling? At home? At work? Family? Relationships? ...
I can tell you that last week was really though ... we worked couple days till 2am and others till mid-night ... I'm still alive and my wife is with ... but, I said myself that was enough ... I'm proposing something new and different and thanks God I'm giving my best to lead from where I'm and I can see the results ... at home ... we moved in to our new place and I'm starting my MBA today ... and my wife is totally supporting it and she is learning portuguese ...
Are things in the past going to be the way they are whether I like it or not?
I can say about work .... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ... we'll make a difference wherever we go! I encourage you to think about it ... maybe is not at work but, at home!
Hmmmmmmmmmmm..... you know what guys ...? let me tell you that what ever you are feeling is OK ... or maybe is not OK ... but, you now what ... God made us humans and we all can fail ... at some point anybody can turn their back to us ... and say "@#((*$#( YOU" ... inclusive family or people that we love ... or maybe you have done it ...!!! In my case ... thanks God I got over it and continue looking forward ... to my goal and purpose in life...
At the end fellows ... think about this .... we are all humans and we are on this journey together .... we never stop learning .... that is the beauty of life and God gave us a brain to think and a heart to feel and LOVE ... This is the only thing that keeps me here ... LOVE ... it is healthy for me and my wife to move forward ...
So if you need LOVE today or anytime ... Girls I'm here for you ... give me a call ... I have a hotline ... =) .... Guys .. what a heck!!! For you too ....
I hope I made you smile in a peculiar and funny way to tell you guys ... GOD BLESS YOU ... and hopefully we can get together soon for couple of drinks ...
I truly believe that we are building the future, feeding the friendship and through this difficult times ... world recession, sales going down, OPEX cut, people loosing their jobs ... there is hope at the end of this, just a manner of having FAITH and be CREATIVE ... we should be thankful for what we have and were we are ...
Cheers and remember that you have a friend right now located in São Paulo, Brazil ...
Keep in touch and enjoy the rest of the week.....
From the land of Beach, Sun, Carnival, Samba, Caipirinha and Soccer...

life experiences with the tools 3

"The greatest things ever done on Earth

have been done little by little."

William Jennings Bryan

The Big R

by Helen Underwood

This little acrostic is a fun way to describe some of the characteristics of a Big R - or Relationship with Yourself.

R =Respect for yourself

E= Exude confidence
L=Love yourself unconditionally
A=Accept yourself as you are
T= Try your best
I = Integrity always
O=Own your actions
N=Notice others' strengths
S=See your own strengths
H=Honor your spirit
I=Integrate balance
P=Play often

W=Work hard
I=Inspire greatness
T=Treat others with respect
H=Have courage

Y=Yearn for excellence
O=Offer smiles freely
U=Unyielding belief in yourself
R=Reach for your dreams
S=Set ego aside
E=Eat your veggies!
L=Laugh at yourself
F=Forgive yourself quickly

4 Keys to Saying No

by Kathy Nisch

I believe this tool can be utilized when dealing with others, as well as going down this path for yourself.

Year-end closing is an especially stressful time for me, focusing on monthly as well as quarterly duties. Throw into the mix – auditors – and trying to stay focused and on-the-path is difficult.

I guess you can say that in order to stay focused, I talk (& listen) to myself to get things accomplished. I have to prioritize - say no and leave some duties to later.
Deadlines are met, usually without a nervous breakdown!

The last part of this tool – would be effective when dealing with someone other than myself – communication spiral.
For example, if I would need to explain to an auditor why I might need to do my other duties first before meeting their needs.

life experiences with the tools 2

"When life's problems seem overwhelming,

look around and see what other people are coping with.

You may consider yourself fortunate."

Ann Landers

Big 5

by Joe Fretz

BUILD THE BIG 'R'
a. You are more willing to participate when encouraged by leaders!
b. Group motivation - Compliments!
BUILD THE WELLNESS CULTURE
a. To help make a difference, not only in my life but the lives of others!
b. People want to be "GREAT"!
BUILD FULL FREE 2-WAY INFORMATION FLOW
a. Having an open door!
b. Listening!
BUILD CLEAR ACHIEVABLE STRETCH OBJECTIVES AND IMPLEMENTATION PLAN
a. Clarity!
b. Results!
BUILD A HEALTHY TEAM IDENTITY
a. Share ideas!
b. What's working - "Accomplishments"!
This Time of Year can be very intimidating for several people for several reasons:
Hangover from the holidays
Tax season
The weather
The "Review"
Ah yes, the "Review". This Time of Year above most others is the time that the manager of an employee has the opportunity to take full advantage of getting the most out of each of their direct reports. Review the list above, how many of you feel encouraged This Time of Year? This is your opportunity to bring the BIG 5 with you and take advantage of the opportunities that lay ahead.
This Time of Year is the time to take advantage of the opportunities we have with a self evaluation. However, the manager may see things in a completely different light and most often they do. This is the manager's opportunity to destroy the foundation, the building blocks of the BIG 5 and everything you have worked so hard for all year. At your "Review", be motivated, feel confident, listen, be clear, have results and share your accomplishments.
My advice to you This Time of Year is to take this information with you to your manager and encourage them, remind them, inspire them with the BIG 5!!!

3 S's of Yes

by Glenna Takats

3 S's of Yes; meaning a way to reinforce the good behavior you're looking for by being Sincere, Specific and Selective.
For instance, I might say to my son "Thank you for getting up to your alarm clock this morning. When you're able to get yourself up like that, it allows me a little extra time for myself."
It may also be used in building someone's Big R.
For instance, "(name), that color of purple looks nice on you." It's not just another empty compliment and may boost someone's day.

Homeward Bound

by Judy Moore

For me, I have to remind myself, of the homeward bound tools:
To reflect on what I learned today and why that is valuable.
Things I did well today.
The blessings in my life.
How I can be the best person I can be when I get home.
My tool card is actually in my car and I do remind myself of these points on my drive home.

This allows me to re-direct my thoughts.
My understanding of this tool is best summed up with the following:
A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked
'How heavy is this glass of water?'
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'
He continued,
'And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won't be able to carry on. '
'As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'
'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.
Don't carry it home.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.'
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

life experiences with the tools

"If we all did the things we are capable of doing,

we would literally astound ourselves."

Thomas Edison

Magic Moments

by Alan Schroeder

Every day we are faced with choices and must decide how we will interact with those around us. The more we hurry the more trivial some of those choices may seem and the more tempted we may be to ignore or blow thorough those which do not further our own agenda and solving their own problems for the day. Which side of the energy map we are on goes a long way in determining our reaction to those choices.
Each choice we make is a magic moment, a chance for us to build the wellness culture and to develop people and relationships. The awareness muscle is the part of us that takes the time to recognize these moments as opportunities to build people up and shift their focus to the front side of the energy map. Magic moments don't only happen in board rooms or in important telephone conference calls. They are also holding the door open for someone and genuinely wishing them a great day. They are taking the time to really listen to the person that comes to you with a question. They happen at the kitchen table in the morning, in the hall ways or around the water cooler at work, when your kids or spouse calls you in the middle of the day, at the lunch counter in the cafeteria, in that last telephone call you get but don't want to take before we go home from work, etc. How strong will our awareness muscle be, and how easy will it be for you to take the high road at those few big magic moments if you practice taking the high road throughout your day?
Magic moments don't just happen to us and are not only about how we react to the situations and choices. Sometimes we make magic moments for other people. Do the magic moments we create make it easier for others to take the high road? Is it possible to avoid some magic moments by being pro-active and using other tools such as the 3 S's of Yes and the Conditions that Support Change?
We have all been witness to a conversation of repeated "low road" decisions. It is easy, and I admit, sometimes fun or entertaining, to sit on the sidelines and listen. After all, I am not the one taking the low road, and the people talking are not handing me a magic moment. Does it really hurt anything to just sit be complacent to the situation, or am I feeding the elephant in the office?
May the power of pathways be with you...

Recipe for Partnership

by Sean Pennywitt

As many of you know, I have been coaching my son's baseball teams since he could swing a bat. As some point I would like to step aside and let him be coached by someone else and had hoped that may happen this year. this will be his first year in a "baseball organization" and there are many good coaches already in place for the respective age groups. As luck would have it there was so much interest in the 10 year old age group that they formed 2 teams. Now they needed a coach and, of course, asked me. This was last fall. I expressed my concerns. Many of these coaches have a lot more experience than I do and I was concerned that maybe I would fall short of what they wanted out of a coach. I ended up meeting with a couple of guys that essentially run the program at a local watering hole and they explained to me what makes the program work and why I would be a good fit, how they got to be successful, and that the objective of the program is less about wins/loses and more about providing a healthy, productive environment for the kids to learn the game. Sportsmanship was also high on their agenda. These guys have continued to help me with the organizational part of it too, fundraising, scheduling, and even running practice. I can, and have, called them with many questions and have always rec'd the direction I needed. After coaching with these guys last fall I feel very good about my decision to take a team. I am not sure how long I will keep doing this, but I do know that this situation is a good one for my son and I. I can almost assure you that none of these fine gentlemen have ever heard of Pathways, but they sure do have the Recipe for Partnership down to a science.

3 Conditions that Support Change

By Cindi Phalen

Our Teen and Preteen daughters each have cell phones. My husband and I decided our girls needed to show more responsibility and realize cell phones are a privilege not a right. The girls decided between the 2 of them they should earn points weekly to keep their phones. They created a chart of chores and came up with a point system which we agreed to. They have managed for 2 weeks to reach their weekly goal and neither of them have been without a cell phone. For those of you who have experienced teenage girls this is a great success!
Had we presented them with the same idea and forced it upon them there would have been great resistance to the idea and no motivation.
We told them what change we needed to make. Let them come up with ideas. We all came to an agreement. They expressed their ideas and are motivated to accomplish the task.
So by using the 3 Conditions that Support Change, making a change with teenage girls is even a possibility!